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A relationship contract is a document that gets written up and signed by (usually) two people within an intimate relationship. What’s important to us that we make sure we include in here?
But, in truth, the contract is a catalyst for a very honest conversation. What can we put in our contract that would make you feel safe, loved, seen, and cared for?
Is it about the discovery and alignment of your life goals and values that you want clarity around?
Whatever your primary intention is, discover it and verbalize it to your partner as you go into your brainstorming session.
the idea being, if you were that explicit and clear about your desires once, you can continue to do so on an ongoing basis.
By mutually deciding to take your unspoken social contracts and bring them into the light of day, you’ll both be feel that much safer to continue to be intentional communicators in how you engage with each other in the long term.
go-out-for-something-special date nights, etc.)– Details regarding their relational balance of independence vs.
intimacy (how much alone time they will prioritize, how often they will spend time with their friends outside of the relationship, how often they will take separate vacations)As a rule of thumb, I recommend that your relationship contract is more of a set of intentions and guidelines than it is an iron-clad set of rules that must be abided by 100% of the time.
I really can’t imagine anything more romantic than intentionally sitting down with the person you love and having an extended conversation about what it means to them to be loved.When you sit down to write your contract, it’s good to pause for a moment and ask yourself why you feel compelled to write it up at all.What overarching benefit are you (and your partner) primarily looking for by writing up your relationship contract?By co-creating your relationship contract, you will get the ultimate window into your partner’s physical/emotional/sexual needs.
There is also a positive trickle over effect from having a relationship contract in the level of honesty that you then feel able to bring to every moment of your relationship…It’s never too late to draft up a relationship contract between you and your partner because it helps drive a stake into the ground corresponding with the effort and communicative clarity that you want to bring to your love life.So instead of letting your social contracts be covert, vague, and unspoken, why not sit down and say, “This is what matters to me”, and then allow your partner to do the same.every 1-4 weeks) that it becomes something that you track neurotically and obsess over.