Advice for men dating a single mom
Yes, moms are really efficient and they’re used to doing a lot of cooking and cleaning. But if a single mom invites you over for dinner — whether a romantic evening for two, or with her kids — she had to clean up a whole lot of Legos and finger paint and string cheese wrappers, and wrangles in an extra trip to the market and wine store to make it happen. You might have a really fun time with your nephew at Christmas, but this isn't the same as cleaning up vomit at 3 a.m. Planning time for mascara is hard enough; popular culture becomes the Great White Buffalo.
"Once the boyfriend is introduced there is no going back, and expectations are raised," she adds.
If you don’t ask her out — no matter how innocuous or considerate the reason — she will assume you don’t want to see her. Leave the ask to the last minute, she has to scramble to find a sitter and that’s really uncool. This shows interest in one of the most important things in her life. Sounds cliche’, but I always appreciate it when a guy goes on about how much he adores his niece, or spends time with a friend’s baby. This isn’t necessary, and especially after you have been involved for a while you will likely sort out the who-pays-when conundrum. But she wants to feel like you’re interested in her in every part of her womanhood — including motherhood. If it has been more than a few months, or things get very serious very quickly, and she hasn’t brought up introducing the kids, bring it up.
Plus, it tells her (and any other woman, for that matter) that she was your Plan B for the evening. But if you really want to see her, give her plenty of time to sort out her schedule. In fact, if you DON’T appear interested in her family she’ll think that you’re not into kids. When a guy laughs at my funny-kid story, or is sympathetic about my mom worries, I’m in. But if you tend to take turns picking up the bill, but she sometimes rearranges her life to get out of the house and pays for a babysitter so she can spend time with you, acknowledge that. Know that when she invites you over, it is more work for her than when you invite her over.
It is normal to feel sad and lonely if you don’t have a boy- or girlfriend.
(It can also feel horny, but that is a slightly different topic — don’t get those confused!
For too long I’ve let what my ex-husband and his new wife think about me bother me.