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A quick disclosure: I have a couple of dating profiles online. But this isn’t therapy masquerading as a self-pitying article by some bloke in his late-30s — well, not much, anyway.I’ve got a number of friends and acquaintances who share my feelings about the way online dating plays fast and loose with your emotions.My first serious foray into online dating came when I was 26 and in the middle of the first of what would be two breakups with the same guy.Round two came when I was 30, and it's still going strong as my 32nd birthday creeps up on me later this month.Men will lie about their height, men and women will lie about their age, some people even upload photos of other people and pretend it’s them. And once you realise this, internet dating feels as random as approaching strangers in a car park and asking them if they fancy you. Searching for a partner online has inevitable similarities to searching for a product.Computer algorithms have the herculean task of returning a perfect match from a database based on our own vaguely truthful submissions, and such copper-bottomed compatibility guarantees whether both parties are fond of cats.But the real thing I've noticed is that while there's a dip in my overall inbox, there doesn't really appear to be a significant decrease in the amount of messages I get (Anecdotally, of course.I don't have scientific stats on my inbox.) Which is to say, 95 percent are still generic, cut-and-paste, overtly sexual, boring, offensive, or grammatical disasters, just like they were when I was 26.
Yes, anecdotes of hair-raising internet dates have become dinner-party staples — you know, ‘he turned up wearing a toolbelt and immediately burst into tears’ — and many were collected in a book published earlier this year. The plunge in self-esteem when your ideal partner remains as elusive as a taxi on New Year’s Eve?
But leaving aside that larger issue, which doesn't have a simple solution for getting changed in a hurry, I don't find it to be a big deal that I don't get as many messages as I used to.