Boundaries on dating
I had to start getting some glimmer of an idea of what boundaries are, and how to set them, in order to understand how hard they were for me - and how absolutely vital to learning to Love myself.So, in this third article of this series on emotional honesty and emotional responsibility I am going to be focusing on setting personal boundaries with other people.Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves.It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary.I am going to attempt to keep the focus on a very basic level for those readers who are new to the concept of boundaries.In relationship to recovery and the growth process, I am going to be talking about two primary types of boundaries.That is because, it is those relationships - family, romantic, etc.- that our inner child wounds are the most powerful.
The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome." "It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly, and honestly.We need to start becoming aware of what healthy behavior and acceptable interaction dynamics look like before we can start practicing them ourselves - and demanding the proper treatment from others.We need to start learning how to be emotionally honest with ourselves, how to start owing our feelings, and how to communicate in a direct and honest manner.The little child within us does not feel worthy, feels defective and shameful, and is terrified of setting boundaries for fear everyone will leave.
The other extreme of this phenomena is those of us who throw up huge walls to try to keep people from getting too close - and sabotage any relationship that starts getting too intimate - to try to protect the wounded child within from being hurt.
Natural boundaries that are part of the way life works - that are aligned with the reality of the rules that govern human dynamics - and personal boundaries." - Emotional Honesty and Emotional Responsibility Part 2The process of Recovery teaches us how to take down the walls and protect ourselves in healthy ways - by learning what healthy boundaries are, how to set them, and how to defend them.