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Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.
I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.
People are shocked when I respond “mutual friends.” How could a girl in her early 20s be friends with people in their late 30s?
Well, I was (and still am) friends with a select crew of musicians and creatives in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend happened to be a part of that scene.
In general, there’s a stigma that a younger woman dates an older man because he’s more powerful and can essentially take care of her.
And while that may be true for some, a 2010 study by the University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men. As a woman becomes more confident in her own career and finances, she seeks a partner who matches that, which often is not a 25-year-old guy.
Getting awkward questions (wait, do you know each other?! I find it difficult to explain to people how my relationship came to be.
Sure, it occasionally happens, but my boyfriend understands that being in a codependent relationship leads to all sorts of trouble and that spending time apart sometimes is key.
So does Age Match.com, a website specifically designed for older men with younger women relationships and older women with younger men relationships.