Dating after becoming widow
I don’t expect a woman I am dating, or even more seriously involved with, to “help me get through my pain and loss”, as it relates to my late wife’s passing.
I should have done that prior to entering the relationship. By the time a widow/widower enters the dating world, they should already be through the initial stages of grief and into the recovery phase of rebuilding their lives.
As a follow-up to our article, here are more thoughts on navigating the often tricky waters of dating someone who is beginning to date after grieving the untimely loss of their partner or spouse – from Members of our own Widow/Widowers community here on e Harmony Advice, in their own words.
As you’ll see from the passages below, everyone’s reaction to their circumstance, opinions and experiences are going to be different, so it’s important to keep in mind the specific needs of your match as you progress.
Not all comparisons are bad; they are simply an acknowledgement that something is different than something else.
How can I help a widow/widower get through their pain and feelings of loss?Be aware that if that is all he or she can talk about then they’re probably not ready to date.”“It is not a competition between you and the departed spouse. Give them time to adjust and try not to take it personally.Make sure that you ask key questions, and be honest with each other.The key is that every person is different, and you should take the widow/widower’s word that she/he is ready to date.” There is no specific time range that works for everyone.
Some people may be ready after 6 months, while others may feel ready after 5 years.I didn’t really feel ready to date until I had worked through the pain and feeling of loss.” “The best advice I have here is to ask the widowed person, “How can I be there for you?” Realize that at some points the widowed person might need space, and don’t take that personally.How long does a widow/widower typically wait to start dating again? I was lonely for several years before my husband died.