Dating an intersex person
Now the numbness below my neck was real—a maze of unfeeling scar tissue.I wandered through that labyrinth for another ten years, with a gender identity and desires born of those medical procedures. At 21 I found myself, a college dropout and a runaway, in bed with an older woman, my second sexual partner and the first naked woman I had ever seen or touched.
The doctors who told me I was an "unfinished girl" were so focused on the lie—so invested in selling me "girl"—that I doubt they ever considered the effect a word like "unfinished" would have on me. I could see that compared to—well, compared to everyone! Still, the only thing that felt complete was my isolation.I found myself swept into divorce, scandal, debt, and—such unimagined bliss—her.Coming out as a lesbian was the single most powerful act I had ever undertaken.My parents sat in the hospital cafeteria, numb, their hearts as cold as the Manhattan February outside. Medical records from that grim period describe me as "a well-developed, well-nourished infant in no acute distress." Every mother's dream.