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It’s no wonder my Chinese friend Caroline once said to me, “You should be careful who you date.”In a survey of married urban Chinese conducted from 1988 to 1990, 29 percent of married men and 23 per cent of married women said they had engaged in extramarital sex.In a more recent national survey, Pan Suiming of People’s University found that between 17 and 19 per cent of married urban residents engaged in extramarital sex.Also, I’m a big fan of having your Chinese friends introduce you to possible dates.While it’s not a 100 percent guarantee the guy’s not a cheater, chances are your friends will know if he’s already taken.And you’ll have kids for sure, because that cements the argument. Japanese people value working ridiculously hard, and they’ll expect you to do the same. Seems like you’d have no problem if you were willing to A) Settle for anything that walks, and B) Plan interesting activities for your loved one to enjoy, do virtually all of the talking, and pretend to find him infinitely fascinating. That’s some of what dating a Japanese woman entails.So now your wife’s at home every day, washing the sheets, scrubbing the bathtub, and cooking meals, which sounds all hunky dory, except that she’s going to require the same amount of effort from you. The difference is that men will put forth whatever effort necessary, and settle for a woman who’s boring, poorly educated, unemployed, even unattractive, so long as it results in some sex.I spend a tremendous amount of time asking Japanese people, in Japanese, what they think about Japan, love, sex, foreigners, language, and everything else under the sun.This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English. Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you. Western women will generally let you know up front that they’re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking you’re an idiot. As a man, you’re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where you’re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities.
I first came to Japan in 2003, and started studying Japanese shortly thereafter.
What I see often seems unlike the Japan depicted in books and on the net, and sometimes I wonder, What country are these people talking about? Like so many interactions in Japan, things often start off promising, only to become vastly more complicated before hot dog hits bun, so to speak. What woman would settle for an illiterate man with no money and little social standing? If you get married, or have kids, you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.
Anyway, I just try to present what I’ve learned and experienced in the most authentic way possible, so hopefully others can think about Japan in a well-rounded manner.” This article is an insightful and slightly controversial follow-up to “Is Dating Japanese Women Really That Easy? First of all, understand that very few Japanese women are interested in dating men of other races. Of course, if you hang around in gaijin bars, then yeah, you’ll meet the one-percent of “Japanese chicks who study English.” And they’ll come equipped with tons of stereotypical ideas about white, black, and miscellaneous brown people. Don’t forget to mention your manga collection and the fact you’re a yellow belt in karate. So when you initially meet someone new, you’re already pre-defined as “a foreigner,” someone whose skin color, clothing, habits, and beliefs places them instantly outside of the social order. Or are you just going to peace out back to Canada and live with your mom after a couple of years? Case in point, I ran in my buddy Tim-Bob the other day, having beers in a gaijin bar.
Overcoming the racial stereotypes and just being treated as a normal person is a big barrier. Chicks dig a guy with the ability to smuggle ET to safety. I call him Tim-Bob, because the first time we met, I thought his name was Tim, and the second time I thought his name was Robert. Anyway, Tim-Bob was halfway into his fourth drink and onto a familiar lamentation about his Japanese wife. Your wife can’t make more, since she’s a Japanese woman, but Oh, you sure can. Identical in every way – not exactly fountains of energy and interesting conversation, if you know what I mean.
Then, consider what most women want in a partner: someone financially secure, respected in society, and with whom they can build a family. Driving a sweet Mercedes through the middle of Shibuya. Then after we became friends he finally told me, “” Turns out I’d been calling him by the wrong names for about a year. “” So the deal is, if your wife has a job, she’s likely to be stuck in a low-paying position where she works every day until 11 p.m. Plus, now suddenly she’s pregnant again, and you need a car, and junior’s not going to survive on them turnips alone. And when it comes to solving relationship problems, they’re fully equipped with a skill-set that includes such gems as sulking, pouting, and passive aggression.They’ll also be a better judge of his personality, and whether he’s someone you can really trust.As for what you said about the dearth of unmarried men in their late 20s, it’s true — many Chinese get hitched before 30, leaving you with fewer choices (though it’s far more acceptable for the men to be over 30 and single — double standard, as usual).Well obviously that sucks, so it makes more sense for her to stay at home and take care of the house and kids. Once her family and friends hear about you lazing around the house on the weekends, or out riding your skateboard or whatever, they’ll pressure you to get a second job, or at least work in the garden. Takeda-san raises all the vegetables for his family. Hope you like hoeing turnips, cause that’s all the hoeing you’re gonna be doing for a long, long time. So after you finish tilling the earth, you better head off to teach a weekends-worth of corporate classes. They’re merely flip-sides of the same coin, only one wears a suit while the other puts on fake eyelashes and a push-up bra.