Dating feelings widower

22-Jan-2017 13:38

so I wonder if I'm holding on to something that isn't, just because he's been around so long.

– when it's good, it's very, very good, but when it's bad, it's awful, Florida I wouldn't worry about the trip.

So, after what will be a year and a half of dating, am I wrong to feel left out on this trip?

We've spent holidays together with both sets of kids. I know all of the friends going and have bent over backwards to befriend them (still way outside of that loop).

I know that it's upsetting to be left out, but for all you know, your boyfriend and these couples spend half the week reminiscing about his late wife. It sounds like your boyfriend is doing all that he can to keep you around but that bringing you on this trip crosses a widower line that he's just not read to hop over. Your job -- while he's gone -- is to think about your feelings for him.

I wish he had communicated that to you, but all of this is so new to him. My guess is that you're in this for more than grilled cheese, but you don't seem sure. When he's gone, are you missing him -- or are you just missing a warm body? He's processing a major loss while figuring out how to be a boyfriend to someone new. All adult-with-children relationships have hiccups, second guessing of priorities, mistakes, pauses, and some weird feelings. Your issues with him are going to be extra sensitive and awkward because he's coping with a death. Assure him that he can be honest with you about anything, and assure yourself that you can ask questions – politely.

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Of course, this time span depends on the individual and how comfortable he is to look for love after the death of his wife.

I am completely understanding that these were *couple* friends.