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Pete went with Within a few hours of beginning the experiment, my matches accumulated.I received one message after another, plenty from creeps but plenty from seemingly respectable suitors.At the same time, I could feel how exhausting the very same experience would be were I a single person looking for a committed life partner, a person with whom I wanted to live and own property and raise children. “Isn’t winking what you do when you’re not being explicit? After a day or two, he told me he was coming to Chicago for a friend’s wedding and asked if he could take me out for dinner.Perhaps, I thought, the less one needed from men, the more one could enjoy them. I was considering the proposal when he said that after dinner, he’d really like me to come with him to his hotel room. I kissed his forehead and his eyelids and felt grateful for him.
For our birthdays, we bought each other things like electric blankets and warm wool socks and a Vitamix blender for making soup. Maybe there wasn’t much in the way of excitement, novelty, or fun.
I wondered if Tinder, which brought the world of dating within finger-tap distance, was accelerating the shift? A few days later, I asked my husband if he’d mind if the two of us set up profiles and tried out the app. “Just texting and chatting.” After a decade and a half together, we weren’t in any acute crisis.