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“It’s no different than if you meet someone on the street.The same rules apply,” said Steven C., a yoga instructor who met his partner on [email protected] (a dating site that’s no longer active) 15 years ago."Online dating doesn't change my taste, or how I behave on a first date, or if I will be a good partner.It only changes the process of discovery," says Mehr in Dan Slater's new book "Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating." (Slater notes that Mehr was the only dating exec he interviewed who felt this way.)It’s the efficiency of this “process of discovery” that’s appealing to many daters.“I guess maybe the promise of online dating is that it allows you to get out and have those experiences and make those mistakes and hopefully learn a lot from them,” said Slater. is to get [them] out there and get them to socialize.” Sure, you might encounter some horrific experiences — but hopefully you’ll learn from them and those lessons will benefit your search for a partner in the long run.“Even if I had married someone that I had met through a friend or whatever, online dating still would have been fun,” said Feifer.Miller agreed, saying: “And it accomplished what I wanted to do, which was go on a lot of dates."While online dating sites give people another tool to find potential mates, the dates themselves are not very different, other than maybe knowing a bit more about the other person before officially meeting.
It doesn’t help that these algorithms are closely guarded trade secrets.They both used the site to meet more people and go on more dates, while using their limited free time efficiently.But even if algorithms aren’t the answer, there’s no doubt that online dating has led to successful relationships — my own included.It may or may not be the best shot at finding what you want, but it’s doesn’t mean it will never happen.
“I think there is a possibility [that these algorithms] could evolve to better predict long-term compatibility.The majority of the daters I interviewed (and Slater, too) at some point referred to online dating as a tool, and that’s just what it is.A dating site is not a magic “fix” for your dating problems.A senior editor at Fast Company, Feifer met his wife Jennifer Miller, a freelance journalist and author, through Ok Cupid after narrowing his search criteria to two requirements: "Jewish" and "journalist."Feifer and Miller told me they didn’t start using Ok Cupid with the hopes of finding their soulmates.