True stories of dating abuse
Losing my self esteem even worse made the cycle continue on and put me in more of a “Needy” place that made it harder for me to leave and almost made me feel that I needed him to survive.
I know that sounds crazy, but I believe that he has made me sorta crazy.
I noticed also the way that he handled situations, he would go from black to white with handling them in an irrational way without much emotion, feeling, regard or empathy.
A couple times when I was hurt, he tried to minimize my experience to say, that it isn’t that bad, but wasn’t being there for me or taking into account what my experience was for me.
During that time I had a medical situation happen to me where I had lost my home, my career and my finances and was working a job that was below my educational level and wasn’t quite feeling the same self-esteem level that I usually did and was at a vulnerable place.
I was down on myself and this man showed interest in me as well as I did with him. We started dating immediately and I felt excited that I met someone who seemed like a great guy.
I knew then, when he called his ex that, that he could call me that and yes he did end up calling me a “Whore”.
But the sad part is, he was not in the place to be ready to change and I had to finally wake up, that I could NOT change him or make him ready to be in a place to change.
Many people would say, “A leopard does not change it spots” and unfortunately, being the ex-tri-athlete and ex-sales representative that I was, I had so much tenacity within me, I thought I could somehow do this, due to part of the love that I had for this man and because I simply didn’t want to leave him, because I did value the other parts of him and did feel a connection that I hadn’t felt in a long time or maybe never felt in my lifetime…but the truth is…a leopard does not change its spots, or if it does, it needs to do it on it own or when it is ready.
He was intelligent, loving, funny, charming, good-looking, nice body and we also had a sexual connection.
During the Christmas of 2008 he asked me what would I like for Christmas and this meant the world to me, because I had not shared a Christmas with anyone in a long time and many of the Holiday Seasons had been rather lonely (This was 3 months into the relationship, before the red flags started showing).
This nice looking man was sitting by himself to the left of me at the bar and my friend and I started talking to him.