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It hooks on my ankles and I kick it across the room.

Please know I'm going to bitch my way through anything that's not large and smelly in the best way possible.

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Did you want two bagels stacked with spreads on spreads on spreads," my mom will ask you when you visit.

The correct answer is always "yes" and the correct follow-up question is "This must be your mother's recipe, right?

It's this loyalty that makes me an incredible friend and an incredibly solid partner.